Frustration a sin?

Have you ever thought of frustration as a sin?  In the book "Respectable Sins" Jerry Bridges very effectively explains how he believes that frustration is a sin.  Even getting frustrated at the small things like slow traffic or your computer not working correctly is sinning.  He explained that when we get frustrated we express disbelief in the sovereignty of God; we don't accept that whatever is causing the frustration was ordained by God.  God placed that experience in your life for a reason and he desires that you experience it.  When we get frustrated we are actually getting frustrated at God and disbelieving in his goodness, faithfulness, and sovereignty.

While at first glance this may seems very condemning, i have found great joy in this idea.  I have begun to change my mindset and attempt to see EVERY detail of my life as part of God's plan for it.  I have begun to see Psalm 139:16 as it should be seen and accepted: "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Anything i experience, even the things that annoy me or discourage me, were placed there by God for my betterment and His glory.  I should not become frustrated or angry at anything; i should instead acknowledge His sovereignty and rejoice in the goodness of His planning of my life.

Good Reads

I just finished two books that i thoroughly enjoyed: "Called to Lead" by John MacArthur and "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges.  I consider a person's mindset to be of utmost importance in their walk with the Lord.  Both of these books significantly altered my mindset and helped me to see the world more like Christ sees it.  I suggest these reads to anyone in a position of leadership or interested in living a lifestyle of praise and honor to God.

Called to Lead

Respectable Sins

Many blessings.

Pride and Bitterness

I had a rude awakening last week when i realized how prideful i am and that i have been harboring bitterness.  During my time here in Rome i saw myself acting differently than i ever have.  I didn't pay much attention to it and shrugged it off, not thinking that it was anything.  A few times i stopped and thought about what i had just said to someone and i wondered if it might have hurt them.  Again, i shrugged it off and acted like nothing was wrong.

I look back now and i see how many times I was impatient with someone and snapped at them.  Several times I said something rude or mean to them in front of the staff and interns.  All of this came to a head last Thursday; i don't know why it happened then, but i realized something was seriously wrong with me.  I did some serious introspection for the next couple of days to try and figure out the root of my behavior.

I still don't know what exactly is causing this (i continue to see myself respond to people in extremely ungraceful and unloving ways), but i have come up with at least one hypothesis.  Last summer i worked on a team with a guy who is out here again this summer.  By the end of last summer, I was very annoyed and upset with him and was excited that the summer was ending so i wouldn't have to ever see him again.  This is harsh, but let me explain some.

We discovered that both of us were Christians early on and i was excited to have a brother during the summer.  Early on in the friendship i asked him about how he came to know Christ and what he was learning in his relationship currently.  He became very defensive and told me that i had no idea what true faith is because i had lived in a bubble at Bethel.  My faith hadn't been truly tested and his faith was much more genuine.  He was unwilling to talk about anything faith-related and our friendship remained at surface level for the rest of the summer.

I realize now that i have been harboring bitterness and unforgiveness.  I don't know exactly how he hurt me or why i am so bitter, but i know that i have been annoyed with him and very defensive in any of our interactions.  I think that this bitterness has spread through my other relationships and affecting many parts of my life.  I know that i need to talk with him and ask his forgiveness.

Lord, help me to forgive.  Help me to always remember how you forgave me when i don't deserve it.  Give me your eyes to see as you see; help me to love as you love.  Break me and make me as you desire.

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." - Proverbs 11:2

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." - Proverbs 12:16

"He who answers before listening--that is his folly and his shame." - Proverbs 18:13

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." - Proverbs 19:11

"A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives though to his ways." - Proverbs 21:29

It is Time to Seek the LORD

"Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground,
for it is time to seek the LORD,
until he comes and showers righteousness on you."
-Hosea 10:12

This verse struck me the other day.  I have been coming back to it trying to grasp its meaning and why it has remained with me.  Here is my best interpretation of it:

"Sow for yourselves righteousness,"
-My God does not expect me to be righteous; in fact he knows that i can't be.  That's why he sent his Son.  Instead he asks me to sow the seeds of righteousness in my own life.  He calls me to do the things that are precursors to righteousness.  I am unsure about what exactly these seeds are and i believe that they are different for each person and situation.  The cliche but true examples of seeds are spending time with God and getting into the Word.  What else must i do in my life to plant seeds of righteousness?  What things must i remove from my life that tempt me to sin?

"reap the fruit of unfailing love,"
-Even when we are not righteous and have only begun the process of seed planting God promises that we will reap the fruit of his unfailing love.  It is as if the manna that fell from heaven for the Israelites falls once again.  While the trees of unfailing love are yet seeds of righteousness we find that fruits of unfailing love appear on the soil of our lives, special gifts from heaven.  I serve a mighty, loving God that loves me.

"and break up your unplowed ground,"
-Do not stop sowing the seed.  Search your life and heart for the places that have yet to be tilled.   Delve deep into the soil and turn up any evil that must be revealed.  Put in its place the seeds of righteousness.

"for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you."
- It is indeed time to seek the LORD.  The time has come to till up the soil of our lives, receive the fruit of his love, and to plant the seeds of righteousness.  He is waiting for the rain of his righteousness to water the seeds we plant that they may grow.  I must wait upon the LORD; to seek him and work on the seeds of my life that i may be ready for the rain.  I must rest in the fruit of his unfailing love in the midst of the turmoil and confusion of this life.  What an awesome God I serve!  Lord, help me to know the seeds you desire me to plant.  Help me to route out all that is not of you.  Shower your righteousness on me; may i not rely on my own strength to do something which it cannot.

The Lord, my True Pasture

I love the different names of God; here is one that i had never heard before.

In Jeremiah 50:6-7 it says:

"My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains.  They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place....for they sinned against the LORD, their true pasture, the LORD, the hope of their fathers."

Lord, may i dwell in my True Pasture and relish in all the goodness of its abundant, sweet sustenance.  May i not wander to the mountains and valleys of this life searching for new food that cannot satisfy me.  Keep me in the folds of the True Pasture and may i dwell in the presence of its Shepherd.  Lord, keep me from my idols that seek to take my worship from you and may i only seek to find my fulfillment in you.

The Hope of New Life

I just finished reading through Jeremiah yesterday.  I was rather disappointed because the vast majority of it was about the judgment that God was bringing on his people and on those who harassed them.  Even in the midst of God declaring punishment on his people because of their unfaithfulness, the resounding overtone of the message was that God was leaving a remnant and that his judgment would not last forever.  He was preparing to forgive their sins and make a new covenant with them.  Even in the midst of their pain and suffering brought on by their own doing, God was speaking over them hope of new life.

Bear with me, it is kind of long.  Jeremiah 33:8-11 says:

⁸ I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. ⁹ Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.’

 ¹⁰ “This is what the LORD says: ‘You say about this place, “It is a desolate waste, without people or animals.” Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither people nor animals, there will be heard once more ¹¹ the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the LORD, saying,

   “Give thanks to the LORD Almighty,
   for the LORD is good;
   his love endures forever.”

   For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,’ says the LORD.

Thank you, Lord that your love endures forever.  That you will not leave me in my sin and in the pain of this life, but you give me hope of freedom and peace.  May I turn to you and give you praise and thank offerings in all seasons of life.

Jehovah Shammah

I love this aspect of God--he goes before me and he is there long before i could even begin to plan for it.  I am so thankful that God in his foreknowledge placed me here in this city, in this internship, and on this team.  He blessed me with a teammate who is passionately pursuing God and who pushes me to do the same.  I see God's hand at work already in the lives of several other interns.  If i am faithful to simply love and live, then he is faithful to do the rest.

Thank you, God, for blessing me so abundantly and unceasingly.  Speak to me and through me this summer.  Give me your strength and will to remain faithful and pure.  Prepare our hearts and may your Spirit reign in this place.